Written by Parker Gray – Portfolio
It’s the cold days that get me. They deepen the embers of the burning remains of my heart. They leave me empty and alone. Yet, somehow they fill me with hope and the unusual sense of some temporary bout of belonging. The piercing jolt of the cold, it brings me to move – motivates me to stay warm, to stay positive about the comforts of the earth and all it encompasses. I find traces of serenity as I recall the paths I’ve so aimlessly wandered during my days. I find you there.
It’s the hot days that get me. They leave me cold and hidden from the world. I melt from the inside out, and turn graciously to a pool of blue clarity. It seeps from every part of me until there’s nothing left. These are my least favorite of days; the warmth reminds me of how cold I have become. How explicitly sharp I feel, like the jagged edges of broken glass – like the pieces of me and the darkness of my past. Yet I find a sense of regularity in the humidity of the day and I’m overwhelmed by the unknown rise of comfort that consumes me. I find you there.
It’s the long days that get me. They drag on as if they know my soul and see through my eyes. These are the days when I search the world for the visions I once held so dear. These are the days I dream – quietly, alone, and to myself. I’m lost in the beauty of purpose and fate, while I struggle to associate with anything that seems real. My dissociations with life stem from everything that is broken, battered, and destroyed – like the innocence I so desperately miss. I’m left with only the bitterness of truth. It is raw and it is beautiful. It reminds me of you. And I find you there.
outlander zine 