the road back to me

Written by Gabriella Troy
Art by Frederico Erthal

this road winds back to you
and i’m too tempted to take it.
i want to go back to the beginning
when we were happy and naive—
the time without little digs at our flaws
and colossal jabs at our flawed acquaintance.

i need more than this four hour drive home to heal,
and it feels easier to buoy myself
by heading back to your cabin,
where i can continue to pretend we aren’t
propelling ourselves toward wanting amnesia.

but i know i can’t keep doing this to myself,
so i turn off the loop and onto the highway,
20 miles over the speed limit
so i have a lesser chance of spinning
in the wrong direction.

my mind is drifting everywhere
but the blur of street before me,
and where i will land is entirely uncertain.
i don’t know when i’ll be happy,
but i know that happy has to come from myself.

i’ll be alone, but better,
and i’ll save my memories of happier times.
maybe i’ll learn to play the guitar
and memorize the tune of self worth;
within time i’ll reach the end of the road
back to me.