To my old friend

Written by Varrick Kwang
Art by Junior Teixeira


Dear friend, how are you? I miss you.

It’s been a long time.
Not talking to you feels like a crime.

It must have been three years since we last met.

Monday is coming again,
And I have to go back to that prison of an office.

My boss has no idea what she is doing,
she throws all her work to us,
Then she scolds us like we were all lazing off.
I puke a little inside my mouth when I hear her scoff.

My seniors bully us because the boss bullies them.
as the boss flings her work onto them,
They fling their work onto us like monkeys throwing shit.
I have had enough of it.

They go home early while we are stuck long after our shift is over.

I’ll most likely work overtime till ten again
and by the next day, my efforts will all be in vain.
I bet to myself I’ll be stuck in the midnight rain,
Unable to catch the last train.

Just yesterday my senior asked me to arrange five hundred forms for him right as I was about to go.

It makes me want to curse this damn job.

Curse this fucking job,
Fuck this cursed job.

I have to enter data over and over again
until my fingers are about to break.
People here hate it when I take breaks.

I have no mood to enjoy weekends.
Slowly, even my hobbies and passions fade into drudgery.

It’s already midnight, and I still want to play, relax, and have a proper meal under the moonlight.
I do not want to sleep,
I do not want to count sheep.
I do not want to face the day so soon.
I want to gaze at the moon–
The speck of gentle light in the dark.
Its natural calming light shines differently from the harsh electric lights of the office.

I try to find the stars, but there are no stars in the sky.
It must be those ugly lights from the ground.
In the buldings and on the roads.
If only the stars would shine in this darkness

Again, friend, I’m giving you my dearest regards,
You are the only good thing left in my life.

It makes me so angry,
That I always get made fun of.
It makes me so pissed
That I cannot find peace.

Nowhere in the office can I find anyone to mesh with.

There was another new staff, Tommy.
I think he’ll do better than me, really.
He seems rather chummy with all the people he works with.
Even the senior staff do not bully him.

A month into the job and he’s already going to the movies with them,
Dining and chatting over lunch, dinner and supper after OT.
Sharing food deals with each other,
Joking and bantering like old friends from school,
Like you and me used to do.

I wish I was in his team.
I made a solitary bet, I bet I’ll quit before him.

If only I was in his team…

But instead, I got teamed with him that bites me from the back
I comfort myself by saying,
Rats bite things that shine.
But really, all I can do now is whine.

Why the fuck did I take this job?

We are in the same team
But we are barely close.

He laughs at me, not with me.
He talks behind my back.
He praises me in front of others and draws unwanted attention to me,
He keeps puffing me up like I’m perfect to my face,
Then pokes holes in my work and image when I leave.
I just want to lay low and do my job peacefully.
I think he wants public opinion to hang me when I finally fuck up.
I think he was the one spreading all those crapo about me at the pantry.

I think he’s why nobody else wants to talk to me.

But I have no idea why I can’t get along with people the way Tommy does.
Maybe you could tell me why?

I tried to help Tasha with her computer, like I always did with you back at that helpdesk.
I got laughed at, not by her but everyone else.
Tasha smiled shyly and said “Thank you” with a small voice…
It reminded me of whenever a user would thank me or you back at our old helpdesk.

I want to go back there, if only the project wasn’t disbanded.
Please don’t disband our friendship too.

Let’s do anything at all.
Give me a call.

We can chat,
We can fish,
We can catch films,

Or simply have a drink together without talking about anything.
I’m fine with doing whatever as long as you are here.

I bet that I’ll leave before Tommy or that maggot.
Maybe we can have that victory drink, to celebrate my one-sided win, once I hear from you.

Please write to me,
You are the solace I have in this shithole.