violet milk

Written by Nicole Mousicos
Art by Merve Safa

You can try it once; I promise, nothing bad will happen. It’s the form of the thought. I know exactly what you’re afraid of (because I was afraid of it once, too). I know they’re like spectres, and they haunt like ghosts, but really, all ghosts become quiet if you shut your ears. All the things they’re saying on the news, too—it’s all rubbish. I don’t know anyone who has ever gone that far. Nobody ever died or anything like that. God, no. I wouldn’t make you do it if they had. If anything, I am looking out for you. If I could only describe it to you; if it only could be described. The purest of minds have been clouded by serendipity. There is a happiness beyond definition in – violet skies and violet rain, and most people are terrified to touch it. This happiness has been with us the entire time, but we’re so used to being unhappy that we’re content without it. Trust me, we’ve known each other since we were kids. I want this for you. 

I remember my first time. Don’t laugh. It was Angus who did it first; did I ever introduce you to Angus? Yeah, that’s the one, the ginger, hard to forget. Nora and I couldn’t believe the stories he was telling us about this violet milk. He said he’d felt it straight away, even after having only taken a sip. Felt every strand of hair on his skin stand up, and every hormone in his body was released at once. He said he’d heard the dopamine hit like fireworks. I can’t tell you where he got it from, but we’re friends, so you can trust me, I wouldn’t give you anything but the good stuff. He drank the whole glass in three gulps, and he was soaring. At first, it was unintelligible; he thought he saw Marilyn Monroe in his bedroom. But after a week or so, he said he’d never felt happier. He quit all the other crap—cigarettes, alcohol—and said he could survive purely on this, only two or three a week. A couple of months ago, his dad got him this minifridge, and he stores all of the milk in there, rows and rows of it. His parents would probably think he’d gone back to infancy if they looked inside. I already told you, I can’t tell you where he gets the capsules from; I can’t be ratting people out like that. Of course I trust you, but I can’t really trust you until you’ve tried it yourself. 

Oh, yeah, my first time. I did it with Nora, and we were both so gone by the end of it that I thought we’d end up in Vegas. I just remember seeing everything so clearly, you know? It was as if I’d been blind my whole life, and then suddenly the world had just opened up completely. At first, I won’t lie to you, I felt myself being swallowed up, but then, you realise that being overcome by it is the only way you’ll survive. The world is beautiful if you allow it to be brutal. The next time I did it, I got Soren and Sky involved. Soren was absolutely against it, but let me tell you, now he’s considering getting one of those small fridges that Angus has. You’ll believe me when you’ve tried it. It’s gotten to all of us, apart from you. And we know how you can be, so you can’t really blame us for not telling you until now. It was mostly my fault. I didn’t want to freak you out. Having friends that were doing drugs or whatever. But I don’t even think it is a drug, you know. It just feels so natural, so perfect. 

I want the best for you. Honest to God. Are you in?