20s

Written by Jules Descoteaux
Art by Inga Seliverstova

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in ur 20s ur supposed to drink &
have sex loudly & party hard til
the sun rises & colors sepia-grey mistakes
vibrant again, then ur supposed to go
to work at ur shitty job & do it all over
again. the hourglass is full of colored confetti &
dyed mixers but i’m 24 now &
the rainbow is fading.

i go home to my husband & walk for 20
minutes on the treadmill & lift 20 lb
weights & drink water til my piss runs clear.
i take 30 minutes to make dinner & shower.
we sit on the couch under blankets with our cat
til bleary eyes can’t focus on the TV in front of us.
y is this our living?

i met my husband at 18 & married at 23. sitting at my big-girl job
feels like life has panned out in 100 shades of grey to match the hair
i found this morning. other 20s slip by in holographic tight tops & micro-minis
out the living room window. their laughs lullaby me to sleep with the cat at my feet.

maybe time should stop
right here right now.
crack the clock
& tip the confetti hourglass so it lays on its side. done being 20
& don’t want to be 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, & 90–
red orange yellow green blue indigo & so violently
it all spills by & god, i wish there was smth to do.